Quite early on in the separation and divorce, something bad had happened, mum had called her mum, dad and brother. Dad locked mum out of the house and one of them had smashed through the glass to get back in.

It would be quite easy for me to punch myself in the face and blame it on you then you would be gone, you would be out of here. I then got out of the car and she charged at me with the car, she tried to break but was going too fast, I manged to jump out of the way and the car rammed into the hedge.

• mum went out to the car, dad followed her and she tried to hit him with the car.
• Mum beat herself up and blamed it on my dad.

Mum had threatened to cut herself with a knife, I backed off and the kids were all behind me and sister came in behind her and wrestled the knife out of her hand.

• She had a knife, went to cut dad but caught sister in the crossfire and cut her arm.

Whoever got the most kids won the game.

When divorce involves children it gets very messy. Clearly the situation you are in is not good for anyone.

I didn’t feel that she was fit enough, sane enough or had the right skills to look after my kids.

I got a call from someone, they were hysterical, and all I could hear was screaming and crying in the background, I thought mum had gone crazy, but her Nan had died.

Desperation, worrying, up in the air, on hold, spiralling, uncertainty, instability/unstable

There was a double life that went on: you had the everyday and normal life went on, then there was the other shit, courts and cafcas and letters and threatening phone calls.

She got stability in a life that was spiralling and we did too.

Full cup of hot tea, mum claimed that she was taking out to the kitchen, being very threatening towards me and I felt that this boiling hot cup of tea was going to be thrown all over my face, so I wrestled her and the cup fell and smashed.